Warm Up Your Confidence

Many people believe that they are not successful at the dating game, or finding their ideal partner because they have a lack of confidence.  This lack of confidence often stops people from doing many things, it is something that stops many people in their tracks, before they even get to the rigorous workout of dating.

Would you define the word confidence (or self confidence) as ‘a belief in one’s ability to succeed in something‘?

There is some truth in this definition, but it is far from the whole truth.  You don’t necessarily have to know that you are going to be successful at something to have the confidence to try it.  You can still be confident when you try something new, even though you have no idea of the outcome.

The secret is not to place a huge amount of importance on the outcome.  If you stop worrying about the outcome, you automatically become more confident, as you are not worrying about failure or other people disapproving.

The funny thing is that you end up focusing more on the actual activity you are taking part in, enjoying it and therefore become more likely to be successful at it.  Other people may call it ‘beginner’s luck’.  As soon as you shift your focus and start concentrating on the outcome, you start feeling the pressure and not enjoying the journey.

So, when it comes to going out and dating don’t think about the outcome, but focus on the journey, have fun, even if it means that you end up with lots of hilarious stories to tell your friends.

Another secret to getting up the confidence for successful dating, is to believe that you can handle the outcome, whatever it is.  Sometimes in life, things will, and do go wrong and we fail, or don’t reach our goal.

A lack of confidence will stop us from trying at all, because we are worried that when we fail we won’t be able to handle the hurt or rejection.  This is where the self belief part of confidence is important, but it’s still not about the outcome, it’s about knowing that you can handle the outcome, whatever it may be.

Having feelings does not mean that you can’t cope, it means you are a living, feeling human being. Rather it is a belief that you cannot cope or handle these feelings that is often the roadblock to confidence.

If you feel this is your main obstacle to confidence and successful dating , do everything you can do to make yourself believe that you can cope with anything and everything life throws at you, even if it means getting coaching, or reading every self help book on confidence you can get your hands on.

Just imagine living your life with confidence and knowing that you can cope with anything, how would that change your life?  Now, think about finding your ideal partner.  Are you ready for love?