The A-Z Guide For Successful Singles – M is for Manifesting

Alesha Dixon’s new song written by Gary Barlow “To Love Again” speaks to so many of us.  You’ve been in love and as the lyrics say “been torn apart.”  The experience may have left you feeling utterly devastated.  You may have felt like your world was turned upside down.  You couldn’t believe you didn’t see ‘the writing on the wall’ when everyone around you did.  Your confidence was shattered and you didn’t believe you would ever love or find love again.  You now know what “love hurts and love wounds” really means.

One client recently described to me how she ‘shut down’ after a relationship went disastrously wrong. I’ve met other singles who vowed they would never let anyone hurt them again.  I’ve spoken to others who are cynical about relationships and who have given up on the idea that they will ever find love again and who have closed themselves off – often without even realising it.

The irony is that while trying to protect themselves from getting hurt again they want to find the love of their life.  Maybe that’s where you are at too.  You don’t want to get hurt again yet you want to meet and fall in love with that special person.  “To Love Again” perfectly describes where you are at – ”desperately trying to find my way back to my heart, so I can love again.” 

Alesha speaks from her own experience.  In the interview I watched last night she described how she felt after a relationship went wrong.  For the next couple of years Alesha said she just “couldn’t be bothered” to think about getting into another relationship. 

She learned to enjoy the advantages being single offered – the freedom to do whatever she wanted to do.  When asked if she was ready for a relationship now, she said that while she was more open to a relationship, she was still feeling cautious.

The Secrets To Manifesting Your Ideal Partner

Are you wanting to be in a relationship and want to understand how to manifest your ideal relationship but can’t figure out why it’s just not happening for you?  Have you heard about the law of attraction but can’t make it work for you? 

The foundation – if you get that wrong, whatever you build on it isn’t going to be solid. 

You have to know and believe that things can be different for you and that life will support you in what you want

I had a client who had a deeply held belief that everyone was out to get her or take advantage of her. Whenever bad things happened – as they do on occasion in the real world – she would remind herself that this was her life story.  She hardly noticed the hundreds of time every day that things went well but she focused on and magnified the events that went wrong.  She unconsciously sabotaged good things – like her relationships. She either put up with bad relationships or when she was in a good one she would end up driving the poor man away.

You may have all kinds of reasons or excuses for why you don’t believe things can be different for you – your past, your background or all the mistakes you’ve made but as Joe Vitale says:

“Excuses are beliefs.  If you buy into them, you’re stuck”

(The Attractor Factor, p 77)

If you have any doubts that you can change your love story, that things can be different for you –you have to sort this out first. Get coaching, read books and find out how you are getting in your own way.

Step 1:  Identify what you want

• Not what you don’t want – but what you do want.  What you focus on is what you will attract
• Understand what you really want.  Often what we really want lies just beneath what we think we want.

Step 2:  Locate and clear your limiting beliefs and doubts – set your positive intention with intense emotion.  As Carl Jung, the well known Swiss psychologist emphasised in his work

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life,

and you will call it fate”

 

By the way, this process does not have to take years of therapy.

Step 3:  Allow It

• By taking action – do you notice the word ‘action’ in “attraction”
• By letting go of the need
• By believing you will have it
• By feeling as if you already have it
• By letting go of how it will happen

Some people think the whole manifesting thing and law of attraction thing are a bit too ‘woo woo.’ But as Michael Losier states:

“The Law of Attraction is already existing in your life whether you understand it or not, whether you like it or not, or whether you believe it or not.  If you don’t like what you are getting, then it is time to tap into the Law of Attraction more deliberately….”

(Law of Attraction p 19)

Successful people try new tools, take on new learning and spend time and money on personal development. At the end of the day you are the author of your love story.  You deserve to be happy and you can be too. Be open, be proactive, invest in yourself and get the relationship you really want.