Memories Should Be Sacred

Ashley and Cheryl Cole are back in the news, though I’m not sure they’re ever out of the headlines at the moment!

Without focusing too much on them, what interested me about today’s story in the Mail regarding their attempts to reconcile is the decision of Ashley Cole to bring with him a ‘Memory Book’ when they meet up to discuss their relationship issues.

For the uninitiated, this will be a photo album / scrapbook in which he’ll keep treasured memories which will trigger reminiscences of happier times for the couple, and hopefully, for Ashley, will make Cheryl realise that she would be leaving behind something more than just a cheating husband.

It’s a nice idea on the surface, and I’m certainly the kind of person who loves to flick through old scrapbooks or photo albums, remembering the good times and all the important dates. Sometimes it’s good for the soul to indulge in some reckless nostalgia, putting your feet up with a coffee and spending a whole morning whiling away the time with nothing but happy memories.

But even to the cynicism-free, there’s something about Ashley’s plan that seems a little cunning, perhaps a little arch and certainly a little troubling. Is it really wise, when one is the guilty party and has had a string of embarrassingly public indiscretions, to be attempting this kind of enforced nostalgia? Personally, I’m not sure it’s entirely fair to attempt to prompt and incite happiness and to use props such as photographs, air tickets and letters to remind a scorned wife of the good times. I’m also not sure it will work.

I’m just an outsider looking in and I certainly wouldn’t want to judge a stranger on such an issue, because knowing the press, this could very well be more speculation than fact – but the idea of a memory book in this context troubles me, no matter who uses it for reconciliation. Memories – good and bad – are sacred things and should be safeguarded. For a cheated party to be swayed by a bunch of happier recall by somebody who’s feeling guilty (and possibly a little sorry for themselves), for me would cheapen and potentially sour the good times, as they’re being used to attempt to sweep negative emotions under the carpet.

It seems slightly callous to do this – the equivalent of an insincere sweet-talk instead of what the situation actually demands: a huge and sincere apology from the person in the wrong.

What do you think?